Justin Bieber, the first person who told me to go and love myself.
And Baby, didn’t I listen.
That was my anthem for a long time, literally on repeat mode, along with the female response of, 'F#*k yourself'.
So, why did I listen? over eighteen months ago I was in a dark space, dating a narcissistic man and although I knew the Universe, along with my heavenly angels had my back, I didn’t love myself. I was in full self-sabotaging mode; always putting myself in the same old situations and never learning my lessons. Like a revolving door, an never getting off... Until I found Havening Techniques;
September 2016, life in a nutshell was like a macadamia, the shell was hard, and my life was small. I had been seeing a guy for just over a year, conveniently he was also in a relationship with someone else. So, you can imagine the situation - obviously, I didn’t know about ‘the other woman’. My friends and family didn't like his nature, nor did they want him in my life. Alarm bells?? Ahhh NOPE, couldn’t hear them.
Being an extreme empath, my journey in life has always presented me people who were 'broken', somehow I’m meant to fix them, and this was exactly that. So, naturally we were drawn to each other - now please don’t judge and try to understand. This man is a narcissist, it is not his fault, His dad is too, and this is not about him. I am now so freaking grateful for him, for if it wasn’t for him, I probably just would have dated another wanker, so my gratitude at this point is sky high!
At this stage I didn’t know that I was also 'broken', but this relationship definitely was the straw that broke the camel's back. I’ve always been a shining light, I’ve always been able to light up a room as I walk in and I’ve always worn rose coloured glasses. that was until my soul was crushed time and time again. I remember one time falling to the ground of my office in tears, the feeling of my heart being ripped out and feeling like my life was an utter mess. But each time I let myself go back into the same routine like nothing had happened, and as a result a little piece of me would die.
So in turn. Not listening to my intuition made me learn some lessons. These were lessons from years of not learning, years of not putting myself first, years of living with anxiety and years of self-pity and living in a victim state. Fortunately for this of this guy I pretty much tucked, ducked and rolled myself out of there without making a scene. Well, it did take a few months, and a few more hits to the head, but once I left I was gone and never ever looked back.
This Blogs Mantra – "Each day is a blessing and I'm so grateful"
With love, light & curiosity
Elle