Graditude

Christmas 2016 year my beautiful Mum gifted me a diary, a horoscope (Leo) diary targeted at teenagers. Bless her. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it. Given that I’ve never really used a diary for a whole year, I had little faith that I’d use it! However, this one has been different. Not for the horoscopes, I will admit when I do read them, every now and then and their nice little messages from the universe.

Prior to the year finishing a good friend recommended that I listen to Hugh Van Cutlenburg – the resilience project! and wow, I could write a whole blog on his mission and probably one day will.  So, I knew what I needed to do with this gift, and from the 1st of January 2017, every night I made a commitment to write 3 nightly gratitude’s. I had been living in a state of it, why not writing it?

I will admit that sometimes I’m grateful for the smallest things, my blender, for having fresh smoothies on summer mornings to the fan above my room keeping me cold at night.

My journey through gratitude has brought forth so many lessons, it’s become a part of my daily routine to now look for the little things in each day to hold a deep sense of gratitude for.

It’s not all happy joyful gratitude’s. The ugly, negative stuff is noticed to! Sometimes I’m writing things that I’m not actually happy about, but, I am grateful for my reaction toward the situation.

I recently caught up with a good girlfriend- she is on an amazing journey of self-discovery and self-reliance and she was saying

The hardest part was ….

My response to her

The best thing that happened was …

Because you see, the shittiest things that can happen to us are just situations; what happens after is, realising that is was in fact usually it’s the best thing that happened. If we get caught up on the negative, there is no room for its opposite ‘the positive’

Everything has an opposite good/bad dark/light, up/down, left/right, hot/cold.

One cannot exist if we didn’t have the other.

Sending you, love and light x

Elle

Today’s Mantra – I have everything I need, all else is a desire.

 

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Create ‘Me Time’

Create Me time

You’re busy, I get it. But you ain’t too busy for you. You actually have time. You’re just not a priority. Ouch. Yep I said earlier I was giving it to you straight this month!

I work around the clock, I also have 4 paying jobs, not including my own business, I study and I’m a stella friend.

But I create space. Wednesday or sundays are block out days for me, Each week I have one or the other and I DO NOT schedule or plan anything, unless it involved something that I love, like paddleboarding with friends, beach hanging or brunch dates and waterfall chasing.

Reminder, I’m 28, single and can happily say, right now. Dating is not necessary a priority at the moment and I choose to date myself.

But I have very good Mumma -friends who also ensure they schedule metime, they talk to their partners about how and why it’s important and they’re partners respect that! They’re partners are also happy to know that it’s someway that they can help.

Weather it be a 20 minute bath, or reading your book, make a homemade face mask, or go to the movies with the girls. It’s your time.

I know for me, I take to nature. I always have and I always will. There is nothing better for me then standing barefoot on some grass, standing not smoking, but everything has its place, If rolling a marijuana cigarette is what gets you off, I and noone for that matter should stop you!

When will you create your own ‘MeTime’ ? I’d love to have you on this journey, reach out on Instagram and lets inspire each other.

Stop the pity party

Stop the pity party-

When you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is, yep this is a pity party, usually wearing Pj’s with a bucket of ice cream and a sad movie.

For me, my pity parties are always about small things and usually things in my control like when I’d put expectations on someone to do something, and it didn’t go my way, or when I’ve bottled up, and emotion, the worst kind of pity party I experience is when I’ve told someone that it’s okay to borrow, use or have something when I really didn’t want to say yes to, but felt I should.

And the feeling of guilt afterwards that I allow myself to feel.

I will say this firmly because I learnt the hard way. Nothing is happening to you; everything is happening to you. I repeat, nothing is happening to you, everything is happening to you.

God/ Universe/ the divine (whatever you feel comfortable with) will only give you what you need to learn, or what you can handle. So, Step up sister, what is it that you keep having to go through that you’re not learning!

So your pity party might be a breakup, a work drama, you smashed the scene on your phone, anything that makes you want to curl up into the fetus position and stay there for as long as possible.

Throwing a pity party will only make you feel like crap, by dragging the problem out! We all know that feeling and why the heck do we let ourselves?

The trick is catching yourself when you have these moments, do you know that fear and gratitude can’t live in the same moment, so which will you choose?

Gratitude has played a massive part in my last 12+ months, and I will spend time diving deep into appreciation but what are you grateful for?

Are you grateful for your breath? For your life? Your clothes? Freshwater?

Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles you have and start being grateful for all the difficulties you don’t have.

So stop, breath, and give thanks. Learn and laugh. The worst days are remembered for what we learn.


Take a moment-

I ask you to reflect back onto the last time you indulged in a pity party?

How did it make you feel?

How long did you stay in the negative village for?

Did throwing a pity party help?

Were your friends sick of listening to you?

Are you now able to see that life’s better now that it didn’t work out the way you first wanted?

What are three things you’re now grateful for?

This weeks mantra –

I am in control of how I feel, and I choose to feel _________

Be Kind – To yourself

Be Kind to yourself

It does my head in, just how badly we can speak about ourselves. I’ve worked in the fashion industry for a long time. Daily I would have women commenting

“ If I was 10 kg Lighter”

“ If my thighs were thinner”

“ I hate my arms, bum, knees, legs”

…. The list goes on.

This actually hurts my heart, not to mention my ears! I often respond

“ Only got one body, gotta love the one you were given”

You are stuck with you? Right? No one else. As far as I know we only get one life in this body? So please, be your best friend.

Something that moved me the second that I heard it, and still does is

“ If you wouldn’t say that to your sister/ daughter, why would you say that to yourself”

Now when it comes to being nice to yourself, inside and out. I can guarantee if you don’t like something about your body, it ain’t going away easy. So accept it and move on to bigger problems.

And don’t give me that ‘easier said than done, Elle

If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it at all – Thumper from Bambi

That goes for others and for yourself.

Please beautiful women, respect yourself. Respect your body. I know for myself, as I can only speak for me. That the minute I started to not focus on my fitness as being something I simply had to do, and something that I enjoy doing, weight dropped off, I trimmed down and I became a lot sexier inside out.

The minute that I stopped dying my hair, getting regular haircuts, straightening, teasing, and curling my hair became so beautiful and so a long time when I would wash it, I’d have massive knots that would make me feel sick from having to brush and pull at my hair so much, I’ve had times when I’ve had to cut knots out, so I switched the story, for a few months I’d brush my hair every night (when I’d remember) and say thank you hair, thank you hair fro being strong, thank you hair for growing long,

I now often get comments about how amazing it is and recently was told I should model for pantene hair commercial… that was really nice but there is nothing about pantene in this hair. I cut it myself and use $3 organic shampoo and conditioner.

I also try to thank my feet, This one I got from my besties mum Anka, She is a podiatrist and its gods gift to her. One day my feet were so sore, I’d also thrown my sciatica nerve on my back and I was a mess. Anka came over to visit and said “ I hope you’ve thanked you feet” she held my feet and said “thank you for supporting Elle, for holding her up and for keeping her grounded, bless you”. I was so speechless. How had I never been told or thought to thank my feet, my poor little feet holding up this body, taking me everywhere, and I’ve just neglected them all this time!

The point in which i’m trying to make is less sometimes really is more, doing less, thinking less and worrying less will really open up so much more for you,

What’s one thing about yourself you wish you could change?

For one week, tell that thing/area that you love it, why you’re grateful for it.

Examples

  • Your freckles
  • Your arms
  • Your thighs
  • Your teeth
  • Your weight

Now everybody is different, if you’d like more support in overcoming these minor things in your life, reach out. I’ve had clients do complete 360’s from hating their natural beautiful faces to never wearing foundation again, to women not feeling sexy enough to go to the beach, to be shopping for a bikini that afternoon.

You can overcome anything, just need to remember any though you limit yourself to believing is a limiting belief, so switch it, if you cant switch it then get in contact and we’ll haven that!

Find a Mantra

Find a Mantra

Firstly, if you’re asking wtf is a mantra, its’ something that you say to yourself or out loud, A LOT. something that you want to embody into your belief system.

When I was around 21, I  used the mantra ‘I Love Me’, I would say it about everything, If I said something funny, If I did 3 shots in a row, if I got a bonus at work or if someone complimented me on my outfit. I used it about Me and Everything Fabulous I Did.

Now being a little later in life and haven’t spent years forgetting about how much I loved me.

Fast forward a few years and now I’ve embodied, I AM ENOUGH.

I’m also seeing this pop up everywhere and I love it. However for me, when Havening found me, I was emotionally at one of my lowest points.

Having the worthless emotions removed from my subconscious, we finished the session by putting in the good, I am Happy, I am Joyful…. I am Enough. I said it over and over again and still do, I say it in the shower, I say it when i brush my teeth, I have it written on my shower and I know deep down without a doubt that I Am Enough, I always have been and I always will be.

So darling, where will you write “I am enough/”

Here are some tips

  • Your bathroom mirror.
  • Your screen saver. (check out my Pinterest page)
  • Your computer screen.
  • Your car window screen.
  • Your fridge.
  • Set a reminder to go off every day/ night in your phone.
  • Put it on the back of your bedroom door
  • On your shower window.
  • Your computer at work.

Anywhere that you feel you need to. I’d love you to let me know where you do this, tag me on Instagram or send me and email in the contact section.