Graditude

Christmas 2016 year my beautiful Mum gifted me a diary, a horoscope (Leo) diary targeted at teenagers. Bless her. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do with it. Given that I’ve never really used a diary for a whole year, I had little faith that I’d use it! However, this one has been different. Not for the horoscopes, I will admit when I do read them, every now and then and their nice little messages from the universe.

Prior to the year finishing a good friend recommended that I listen to Hugh Van Cutlenburg – the resilience project! and wow, I could write a whole blog on his mission and probably one day will.  So, I knew what I needed to do with this gift, and from the 1st of January 2017, every night I made a commitment to write 3 nightly gratitude’s. I had been living in a state of it, why not writing it?

I will admit that sometimes I’m grateful for the smallest things, my blender, for having fresh smoothies on summer mornings to the fan above my room keeping me cold at night.

My journey through gratitude has brought forth so many lessons, it’s become a part of my daily routine to now look for the little things in each day to hold a deep sense of gratitude for.

It’s not all happy joyful gratitude’s. The ugly, negative stuff is noticed to! Sometimes I’m writing things that I’m not actually happy about, but, I am grateful for my reaction toward the situation.

I recently caught up with a good girlfriend- she is on an amazing journey of self-discovery and self-reliance and she was saying

The hardest part was ….

My response to her

The best thing that happened was …

Because you see, the shittiest things that can happen to us are just situations; what happens after is, realising that is was in fact usually it’s the best thing that happened. If we get caught up on the negative, there is no room for its opposite ‘the positive’

Everything has an opposite good/bad dark/light, up/down, left/right, hot/cold.

One cannot exist if we didn’t have the other.

Sending you, love and light x

Elle

Today’s Mantra – I have everything I need, all else is a desire.

 

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Create ‘Me Time’

Create Me time

You’re busy, I get it. But you ain’t too busy for you. You actually have time. You’re just not a priority. Ouch. Yep I said earlier I was giving it to you straight this month!

I work around the clock, I also have 4 paying jobs, not including my own business, I study and I’m a stella friend.

But I create space. Wednesday or sundays are block out days for me, Each week I have one or the other and I DO NOT schedule or plan anything, unless it involved something that I love, like paddleboarding with friends, beach hanging or brunch dates and waterfall chasing.

Reminder, I’m 28, single and can happily say, right now. Dating is not necessary a priority at the moment and I choose to date myself.

But I have very good Mumma -friends who also ensure they schedule metime, they talk to their partners about how and why it’s important and they’re partners respect that! They’re partners are also happy to know that it’s someway that they can help.

Weather it be a 20 minute bath, or reading your book, make a homemade face mask, or go to the movies with the girls. It’s your time.

I know for me, I take to nature. I always have and I always will. There is nothing better for me then standing barefoot on some grass, standing not smoking, but everything has its place, If rolling a marijuana cigarette is what gets you off, I and noone for that matter should stop you!

When will you create your own ‘MeTime’ ? I’d love to have you on this journey, reach out on Instagram and lets inspire each other.

Stop the pity party

Stop the pity party-

When you spend your time feeling sorry for yourself and whining endlessly about how crappy your life is, yep this is a pity party, usually wearing Pj’s with a bucket of ice cream and a sad movie.

For me, my pity parties are always about small things and usually things in my control like when I’d put expectations on someone to do something, and it didn’t go my way, or when I’ve bottled up, and emotion, the worst kind of pity party I experience is when I’ve told someone that it’s okay to borrow, use or have something when I really didn’t want to say yes to, but felt I should.

And the feeling of guilt afterwards that I allow myself to feel.

I will say this firmly because I learnt the hard way. Nothing is happening to you; everything is happening to you. I repeat, nothing is happening to you, everything is happening to you.

God/ Universe/ the divine (whatever you feel comfortable with) will only give you what you need to learn, or what you can handle. So, Step up sister, what is it that you keep having to go through that you’re not learning!

So your pity party might be a breakup, a work drama, you smashed the scene on your phone, anything that makes you want to curl up into the fetus position and stay there for as long as possible.

Throwing a pity party will only make you feel like crap, by dragging the problem out! We all know that feeling and why the heck do we let ourselves?

The trick is catching yourself when you have these moments, do you know that fear and gratitude can’t live in the same moment, so which will you choose?

Gratitude has played a massive part in my last 12+ months, and I will spend time diving deep into appreciation but what are you grateful for?

Are you grateful for your breath? For your life? Your clothes? Freshwater?

Happiness comes when we stop complaining about the troubles you have and start being grateful for all the difficulties you don’t have.

So stop, breath, and give thanks. Learn and laugh. The worst days are remembered for what we learn.


Take a moment-

I ask you to reflect back onto the last time you indulged in a pity party?

How did it make you feel?

How long did you stay in the negative village for?

Did throwing a pity party help?

Were your friends sick of listening to you?

Are you now able to see that life’s better now that it didn’t work out the way you first wanted?

What are three things you’re now grateful for?

This weeks mantra –

I am in control of how I feel, and I choose to feel _________

Be Kind – To yourself

Be Kind to yourself

It does my head in, just how badly we can speak about ourselves. I’ve worked in the fashion industry for a long time. Daily I would have women commenting

“ If I was 10 kg Lighter”

“ If my thighs were thinner”

“ I hate my arms, bum, knees, legs”

…. The list goes on.

This actually hurts my heart, not to mention my ears! I often respond

“ Only got one body, gotta love the one you were given”

You are stuck with you? Right? No one else. As far as I know we only get one life in this body? So please, be your best friend.

Something that moved me the second that I heard it, and still does is

“ If you wouldn’t say that to your sister/ daughter, why would you say that to yourself”

Now when it comes to being nice to yourself, inside and out. I can guarantee if you don’t like something about your body, it ain’t going away easy. So accept it and move on to bigger problems.

And don’t give me that ‘easier said than done, Elle

If you have nothing nice to say don’t say it at all – Thumper from Bambi

That goes for others and for yourself.

Please beautiful women, respect yourself. Respect your body. I know for myself, as I can only speak for me. That the minute I started to not focus on my fitness as being something I simply had to do, and something that I enjoy doing, weight dropped off, I trimmed down and I became a lot sexier inside out.

The minute that I stopped dying my hair, getting regular haircuts, straightening, teasing, and curling my hair became so beautiful and so a long time when I would wash it, I’d have massive knots that would make me feel sick from having to brush and pull at my hair so much, I’ve had times when I’ve had to cut knots out, so I switched the story, for a few months I’d brush my hair every night (when I’d remember) and say thank you hair, thank you hair fro being strong, thank you hair for growing long,

I now often get comments about how amazing it is and recently was told I should model for pantene hair commercial… that was really nice but there is nothing about pantene in this hair. I cut it myself and use $3 organic shampoo and conditioner.

I also try to thank my feet, This one I got from my besties mum Anka, She is a podiatrist and its gods gift to her. One day my feet were so sore, I’d also thrown my sciatica nerve on my back and I was a mess. Anka came over to visit and said “ I hope you’ve thanked you feet” she held my feet and said “thank you for supporting Elle, for holding her up and for keeping her grounded, bless you”. I was so speechless. How had I never been told or thought to thank my feet, my poor little feet holding up this body, taking me everywhere, and I’ve just neglected them all this time!

The point in which i’m trying to make is less sometimes really is more, doing less, thinking less and worrying less will really open up so much more for you,

What’s one thing about yourself you wish you could change?

For one week, tell that thing/area that you love it, why you’re grateful for it.

Examples

  • Your freckles
  • Your arms
  • Your thighs
  • Your teeth
  • Your weight

Now everybody is different, if you’d like more support in overcoming these minor things in your life, reach out. I’ve had clients do complete 360’s from hating their natural beautiful faces to never wearing foundation again, to women not feeling sexy enough to go to the beach, to be shopping for a bikini that afternoon.

You can overcome anything, just need to remember any though you limit yourself to believing is a limiting belief, so switch it, if you cant switch it then get in contact and we’ll haven that!

Find a Mantra

Find a Mantra

Firstly, if you’re asking wtf is a mantra, its’ something that you say to yourself or out loud, A LOT. something that you want to embody into your belief system.

When I was around 21, I  used the mantra ‘I Love Me’, I would say it about everything, If I said something funny, If I did 3 shots in a row, if I got a bonus at work or if someone complimented me on my outfit. I used it about Me and Everything Fabulous I Did.

Now being a little later in life and haven’t spent years forgetting about how much I loved me.

Fast forward a few years and now I’ve embodied, I AM ENOUGH.

I’m also seeing this pop up everywhere and I love it. However for me, when Havening found me, I was emotionally at one of my lowest points.

Having the worthless emotions removed from my subconscious, we finished the session by putting in the good, I am Happy, I am Joyful…. I am Enough. I said it over and over again and still do, I say it in the shower, I say it when i brush my teeth, I have it written on my shower and I know deep down without a doubt that I Am Enough, I always have been and I always will be.

So darling, where will you write “I am enough/”

Here are some tips

  • Your bathroom mirror.
  • Your screen saver. (check out my Pinterest page)
  • Your computer screen.
  • Your car window screen.
  • Your fridge.
  • Set a reminder to go off every day/ night in your phone.
  • Put it on the back of your bedroom door
  • On your shower window.
  • Your computer at work.

Anywhere that you feel you need to. I’d love you to let me know where you do this, tag me on Instagram or send me and email in the contact section.

Self Love

Why loving yourself is the best thing, ever!

My body love journey is something I’ve never thought about until recently, and I’m sure I could write a book on it, so stay tuned, that will come (one day)…

Once upon a time, I was curled up in a ball on the bathroom floor because I had drunk myself stupid, kissed a guy who names I didn’t know and said mean things to my bestest girlfriend and genuinely thought the world was out to get me, it was then that I realised, That everything on the outside was only a reflection of what I thought of myself, Empty, worthless and not enough.

Unfortunately, in my early 20’s I hadn’t learnt that alcohol was a poison, not a solution. So, everything I did involve drinking, smoking and eating KFC because I was so hungover the grease would help!

Oh, My Gosh how things have changed.

Now I’m 28, and I didn’t change overnight, and I still have wild nights out, but usually I end them with loads of water, a few magnesium tablets and I’m still in bed by a reasonable hour, and I now I can have just as much fun sober so sometimes I’ll opt not even to drink!

There are a few people that might be reading this, thinking WTF has happened to her. Elle, the girl that would get wild, go crazy and be the life of the party!! Not Drink??? What the heck!

But yes, boys and girls, it does happen, I also rarely eat meat and, I limit my intake of animal products all around, and I also practice meditation and gratitude. Because I’ve learnt my body is my temple and it deserves so be treated with love and respect,

Over the next few weeks, I’m going to go through how I’ve made these lifestyle changes, what’s worked for me and why I believe in loving myself first is the most important thing we can do for ourselves. Be sure to check it out on Instragram


 

 

Where I was Vs Where I am.

Justin Bieber, the first person who told me to go an love myself.

And Baby, didn’t I listen.

That was my anthem for a long time, literally on repeat mode, along with the female response of Fuck yourself.

So, why did I listen? 1.5 years ago I was in a dark space, dating a narcissistic man and although I knew the universe along with my heaven angels had my back, I didn’t love myself, I was in full self-sabotaging mode; always putting myself in the same old situations, never learning my lessons. Like a revolving door, but not getting off.

Until I found Havening Techniques;

September – ish 2016, Life in a nutshell was like a macadamia, the shell was hard, and my life was small. I had been seeing a guy for just over a year, conveniently he was also in a relationship with someone else; so, you can imagine the situation.And obviously, I didn’t know about ‘the other women’.

My friends and family also didn’t like his nature, nor want him in my life, Alarm bells?? yep, nope, couldn’t hear them

Being an extreme empath, pretty much all my life has brought me people who were broken, somehow I’m meant to fix them, and this was exactly that. So naturally, we were drawn to each other, now please understand. This man is a narcissist. Its not his fault. His dad is to, and this isn’t about him. I am so freaking grateful for him, for if it wasn’t for him, I probably just would have dated another wanker so my gratitude at this point is sky high!

Now I also didn’t know I was also broken, but this relationship defiantly broke the camels back. I’ve always been a shining light, I’ve always been able to light up a room as I walk in and I’ve always worn rose coloured glasses. Until my soul was crushed time and time again, I remember one time falling to the ground of my office in tears, the feeling of my heart being ripped out and feeling like my life was an utter mess. But, I’d go back into the same routine like nothing had happened, but a little piece of me would die.

So not listening to my intuition made me learn some lessons, now these were lessons from years of not learning, years of not putting myself first, years of living with anxiety and years of self-pity and victim state living!  Fortunately for this guy, I pretty much ducked and rolled myself out of there without making a scene. Well, it did take a few months and a few more hits to the head but once I did I was gone and never, ever looked back

So how I found havening, I was living in my small coast home town in NSW, things were pretty bad so I decided I would head to the Gold Coast for one week, I’d lived there before so was looking forward to it, plus I had a friend who was desperate for me to move there and help with her business. 

I was approaching my last days on the Gold Coast, sitting in a coffee shop, when a lady came and sat by my friend and I, they new each other so I was introduced to Karen, 

“Karen did that thing I was telling you about” That thing being ‘havening Techniques’

Karen, so divine and angel like, suggested if I had time we could have a session, I’d said I was leaving in 2 days. She said sure, tomorrow morning? Does that work? Nia can we come to yours?

So here I was, between two power house women, having no idea what I was in for, but knowing whatever Karen was on, I wanted some of that! We exchanged emails and she sent me some info, I remember sitting at Burleigh hill watching Dr. Ruden and thinking that looks easy and light, surely it’s too good to be true? 

Growing up I had a pretty great life, I now know My parents, bless them, did their best with what they knew at the time. But, in saying that I was one moody as hell teenager with some serious daddy issues!  But I also was carrying a lot of trauma.

Karen arrives, and we sit down.  I’d never told anyone about what I was carrying. Divine Karen, held the space, allowed me to be vulnerable and made me feel safe. As I went back to the traumatic event. Within about 25 minutes the memory was gone, wiped away and she even gave me the tools to use this gift on myself, WOW. Yep, WOW.

I then returned to my home town where I packed up my life and move to gold coast by myself, safe to say the drive was epic, I love a long drive! 16 hours of Ted Talks, singing, calling friends and enjoyable silence, my car is a total safe haven.

I stayed on my girlfriend blow up mattress in her lounge room for a few weeks whilst I trusted in the universe that it would all come together for me and it did.

I caught up with the divine Karen again, for coffee and she told me to haveners from the UK would be coming in 2 weeks to train on how to be a practitioner, I wanted in on this, Money was short, and Nia suggested she’d pay and I’d work it off in time! So, I said yes and that was November 24th, 2016

 I then was offered first choice on a unit by the beach where I would then live in for over a year by myself!  There is no better way to get to know yourself, then spending every day with your one and only!

So here I am, over 1 year on. With clients of my own, no relationship to hold me down, so strong and in love with who I am becoming.

This Blogs Mantra – “Each day is a blessing and I’m so grateful

Elle xox